Wow look at me blog lol

So it's been brought to my attention that maybe the kids staying in MB till the end of the school year is in their best interests.....hmmmmm tough call on that one....I haven't had my kids beside me in over two months and I feel very incomplete without them...I have brought this up for discussion with them and I'm letting them talk it over and letting them decide...we have said that we'd like them here sooner than later but they've done such a good job in school and life since their mom and I split up that I don't want to screw that up either...Bailey has already said that July is too long to wait but we'll see what is decided in the next couple weeks.

Now that being said let me clear the air a little for the foggy minds out there in narrow minded land....I have no master plan in life....I have no alterior motives....all I'm trying to do in life is raise my kids to be good kids and they are doing a great job, be happy, be loved, and to love and support someone back. I do not, nor have I ever manipulated anyone, everyone is free to decide what they want. Ask any of my FRIENDS....not other's who don't know anything...There was never any option for me to purchase any business other than the one that I did....all other talk of anything else comes from I don't know where...I believe I've said in other rants why my business closed, what my decisions were and to this day I do not regret them. I wish life had turned out different but I always play the hands I'm dealt and proceed to move forward even if it's one step at a time.

Sam has moved to Saskatoon with me and the kids to follow....I didn't force her to move here, I opened up her mind to the possibilites for her out here....and to have a SUPPORT system in place. She is not here to be my babysitter, my maid, (I cook better anyways) or my slave, I stand beside Sam in everything she does, I support her like many others should and aren't, I encourage her and I believe in her like no one else. She has so much potential to go so many places in life, and if in those places is an old divorced guy and a couple kids and we make each other happy then that will be mission accomplished. My kids, all of them love, support and believe in Sam, we all see a future together, we all see great things, we don't look through starry eyes, I've seen and been through way too much to look through anything but my own eyes, I've been through enough bullshit and drama to know how and to avoid it. I don't have time for it....I may live in a small town but I am not small town....I'm real...I have no agenda, I have no motives, hell I have no money and rich, lavish possessions but what I do have is EVERYTHING....4 amazing, wonderful, good kids, I have a girlfriend that loves me, supports me, believes in me....and some outstanding friends and awesome family....you tell me, what really does anyone want....if you haven't already, you need to look at Sam, the kids and myself....see how we are together, see how we make so much out of so little, see how we love spending time together doing anything and doing nothing....Sam is such a beautiful, talented, loving person and needs to be supported, not manipulated and discouraged. She's a very strong woman in her beliefs, she has chosen to have never had a drink in her life which amazes me and impresses me....she is her own person and one that I never want to change, or rely on or mooch off of....well maybe mooch a little once she becomes more successful than me ;)

I have been taught in life and I teach my kids not to judge a person on looks, age, money, success.....we are all who we are, we are individuals that make up a very complex world and we're here to not change people but to change the world or our part of it anyways by our actions and how we live our lives. I'm not about to ignore happiness for any of those reasons.....I love Sam very much, I believe in her and I will stand beside her for the rest of my life because she deserves it, she deserves me and my kids and I deserve her....

I'm done ......hopefully for the last time although I never tire of talking about Sam and the kids I do feel a bit repetative for those of you who can't seem to hear very well....

I'll see ya when I see ya!

Been awhile....

Hello world....or the 4 people that actually check this lol....



So I left for Mb on the 23rd and it was not a fun trip....it started to snow here the night before and not that it's a bad thing, I mean come on I have a Jeep...but it was mild and the highways were slippery and visibility was not the best so it was slow moving to say the least...at one point going through Regina I looked down to my phone, missed a sign and proceeded to drive back into the city : needless to say it added some time to our trip...from our trip through Saskatchewan there was car after car after truck after semi in the ditch...still amazes me how people forget to drive over the summer...a little ways out of Regina we came upon a car with someone with hands up in the air waving down traffic and no one was stopping so I applied the brakes...ABS kicked in as it was a sheet of ice...and slowed down along with two other SUV's...one had 4 Marine's in it the other had one guy like myself, shovels, toques and boots in hand we walked back to the car to find a couple in their 70's quite stuck... the RCMP came by but as per rules they can't help but they did block the lane in case we got them out so that we had room and wouldn't die lol after a lot of pushing, a lot of shovelling, a lot of sweat and about 45 mins we actually got the car turned around and pushed back out....then proceeded to high 5 everyone there.....we were pretty pumped....Merry Christmas to all and we were again on our way....we finally hit the MB border and thank the lord, they salt their hiways....visibility still sucked, 11 hours later we were in Winkler...wooohooooo



Sam was at work for her second last shift, Bay and the girls were at Pams waiting so once we unpacked I headed over and picked up some of the hounds...and as per usual they were pretty pumped to see me as I was them....Jennifer had her first of two Christmas dances at church so after dropping the girls off with mom, Bay, who wouldn't let me out of his sight, came along to Altona so that I could grab Jen, and some stuff from storage and head back to Sam's for night...I got a big hug from Jen as per usual and stopped in to see Greg quickly and after 3 hours of being gone again I headed back to Winkler with the last of my hounds :)



So we piled into Sam's one bedroom apartment with 8 of us including Dan, Sam's 2 week roommate and long time friend and he was a great addition...so between air mattresses and our bed and the floor we all managed to get, well not a great sleep but some sleep anyways....The kids got up the next morning and went and had Christmas with their mom and Sam headed off for her final shift at BP's, mom and I ran around and got some last minute things and waited for Sam to get off work. We then picked up Jen and brought her to Altona for Christmas dance program #2. She was awesome and fantastic as usual and we even got to see some people we didn't think we would so that was a nice surprise.



We then headed back to Winkler to pick up the remaining hounds from their moms and head back to Sam's so that we could fall asleep and all wake up Christmas morning together and proceed to tear into the presents....

Well no one went to bed early and I needed to wait for Bailey to go to sleep so I could wrap his PS3 that he had been playing for 2 days...I told him a buddy let me borrow it, he was pretty stoked when he opened the empty box and I said "oh by the way, you've been playing your PS3 for 2 days....Sam and I then proceeded to get a HUGE hug from Bay! Jennifer was also a little pumped on her new purple ipod that records video :) good work Sam!

It was a little stormy that day so after presents I drove Sam to her parents and headed back to Winkler to spend the day with the kids...lots of PS3 lots of games, and a couple movies...good times...no great times....
the kids were again for night and the next day were off with their mom to their grandma's for another gathering, Sam also had another gathering so it was a lot of sitting still for me again...
On the 27th we headed to my sisters so the kids could exchange gifts and we could catch up on life...then we headed to my aunts just for some visiting and then came the worst part of my trip again and that was saying goodbye to the kids....it's pretty tough on us but only makes us stronger...Sam was finishing up her last gathering then it was time to clean up, pack up and get ready to head out the next morning...oh wait, we couldnt' do all that cause Sam locked us out of the apartment....sooooooo we spent an hour and a half driving around Winkler waiting for her lol.

The trip home was uneventful which is a good thing, we rolled in around 7:30 and unloaded the Jeep, somewhat got settled and crashed for the night after our nightly phone call from Bay. I headed to work on the 29th and that always sucks after holidays...Sam's interview has been delayed but hopefully will happen soon as she wants to get started on her next chapter as well....
there's more to say but I'll say it in a different blog....

I'll see ya when I see ya!

Sunday @ work

So I'm sitting here at work, been here since 7:30 am and it was confirmed again this morning that I am NOT a morning person.....oh well...

been a longer week this week with more work crap as I slowly get things straightened out and having discussions with my boss on things we don't agree on and making Sam freak out that I"ll get fired LOL....the discussions aren't that heated, all will be fine....

My Jeep decided this week to pour oil out of itself and after brining it to the Jeep doctor, I needed a new oil pressure sending unit, $230 later she's up and running just in time to get me to Mb....the Blackberry however is still being difficult and I'm still with no phone....bought some parts I needed from Hong Kong so now I just sit and wait....I love waiting.. :/

In 3 days I'm on my way to MB for Christmas and I can't wait to be with the kids and Sam AND after Christmas I finally get to bring Sam back with me....pumped, jacked, stoked....can't wait....

so ya...normal frustrations, normal excitement on seeing the important people in life...and starting a life with....so for now that's that....

see ya when I see ya

Ahhhhhhhhh

So today can be over anytime....hasn't been a terrible day but it's not high on the awesome list.....still dealing with trying to get things straight at work, I knew what I wanted to do with the schedule but in talking with my GM about it three different times I had three different ways I was supposed to do it and basically was doing it wrong now and throwing my budget all out of whack so we'll see if this new schedule will be better.....geez....ran out of time and couldn't go see the house today which is fine cause I can't really rent anything till Feb 1st anyways.....oh well....AND THEN.....I get a message getting shit for not butting my nose into someones business cause when I do it usually bite's me in the ass and well today it did anyways....thanks for that.....talk or not talk I'M the bad one.....I don't think so.....I didn't even ask for the info so....ya....brutal....not impressed....

oh well the day is almost done....Christmas is almost here which means kids and Sam....now that I know will be good and drama free....

see ya when I see ya.....

Well then....

So on my bucket list I have ...."go to Vegas" not that I'm big into gambling but I've always wanted to see the city....and after doing some nosing around the internet today and going by one of my favorite musicians website, I found out that Garth Brooks is out of retirement and now playing a show every so often in Vegas....it's a one man show, it's very personal and I'd love to see it...he's there for the next 5 years so I actually have a chance on this one.

I've always loved Garth and I'm not a huge country music fan. What I am is a music fan and if you've ever had the privelage of seeing Garth live...which I have....it's an amazing show that he puts on....so much energy, so much life, and it's about the music and the fans....what more do you want....

Garth Brooks retired when he was still climbing to the top, he chose to stay home, with his girls, I believe he was still married at the time, but soon that fell apart, but it was important to him to not miss out on his girls lives....he is still very good friends with his first wife but also remarried in the mean time and they make it all work and that's why he's doing this show. They've made it so that he can still be home to take his girls to school and pick them up and watch their sports etc...awesome....his youngest is 13 and when she's off to college then hopefully he will tour again.

Now you may be wondering why in the blue blazes am I giving you the low down on all this.....well it's because I'd love to meet the man that puts everything behind what's important....someone asked him in his press conference about who's opinion on what he was doing mattered....or something along that lines...his response was..." no offence to any of you but the only opinions that matter are my 3 girls....my wife, and the girls mom.....and it was like I was saying it out loud.....I lost everything that I thought mattered....business, marriage, money, possessions.....all for the best of my kids....and in that I found that the only thing that matters, that I need, that I desire is them and to see them happy, and succeed and to enjoy everyday....

In that process I met a gorgeous girl named Sam, who taught me what it was like to love again, to be loved, she came into our lives when we had nothing, no money, no house, nothing fancy, bare bones really, and she loved every time she was with us....I never promised her a thing from day 1, was very guarded with myself in fear of being hurt, guarded the kids as they had dealt with enough already, she said I love you 4 months before I ever did, but that never scared her away...so much is said about Sam and I and it's mostly because I'm older, have 4 kids, am divorced, lost all my money, which of course makes me a bad risk, bad for her, and a loser because of something stupid I may have done somewhere in my past "29" years ;)

Well here comes my favorite part....all those who think that I am wrong for her....YOU'RE WRONG! We are very open, honest, and greatful for what we have, what we can provide for each other, love, support, friendship, the kids, she loves my kids so much and doesn't ever want to replace their mom only wants to be a part of their lives. My kids love her to pieces, respect her, look up to her, and really what more could I want. Yup, you bet, I've screwed up in my life, I screwed up in my marriage, we both did, I've had a lot of jobs, I've never been able to afford luxeries.....but what I have is 4 amazing, wonderful kids, I have a wealth of knowledge, some learnt the hard way, at my fingertips, I have found someone that regardless of pasts, age, support from others, I love more than I've ever loved someone and it's not to relive my youth, once was enough, it's not a mid life crisis, it's because, since my split from my ex wife, I've been in a pursuit for happiness, first I had to make myself right, through the help of Pastor Tim and accepting God into my life, I'm a much better person than I've ever been and continue to work on myself everyday, my kids benefit from it, so does Sam, and I hope too that my ex will benefit from it as well.....Sam taught me that's it's ok to love, and be loved, my kids taught me that it didn't matter where we lived or what we had, it was about being together, and being a family.

I've had a long life for a young guy, some by choices made, others I had no control over, but I sit here today, jacked that Garth is coming out of retirement, content with recent decisions that I've made in my life, proud of my 4 kids, in awe of my beautiful girlfriend who proves to me everyday how wonderful she is, loving, caring and how big her heart really is. She has stood by me with so much already, supported all my decisions and gives me heck when a swear word comes out and I love it. For the first time in long time I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. For all the things mentioned above, for some amazing friends who have walked and talked this journey I call life along with me, and I feel very blessed to call Greg, Candace, Chris, Karla, Kelsie, Sandy, Kevin, Sarah, Dean, Marilyn, Ricki, Raelene, Courtney, Kennedy, Buzz, Craig, Bryan, Tash, Sam, Becky, Dan, Beth, Jennifer, Bailey, Brooklyn, Cassidy, Sam, Mark and Steph, my friend....the names are in no order, but everyone of these people helped me get to where I am today, broke and happy ;) but on my way to bigger and better things, but always, always putting the kids, and Sam first.

I can't wait to see Garth, I can't wait to see the future, I can't wait to see my kids and Sam succeed and with the support of one another, the only way we can go is up.....

See ya when I see ya....

The weekend that was.....

So, this past weekend I had book marked since I left that I would come back and see the kids, and watch Bay's home hockey tourny...well let me tell you it was time...that was long enough to be away from all of them....they all knew I was coming but what they didn't know I was coming early...

I had been texting Sam and the kids and making it sound like I was stuck at work and not able to come any earlier...I was trying to get to town sooner but was actually stuck at work longer than I wanted but rolled into Winkler around 12:30 at night...Sam was hoping to find me in her parking spot after work but nope, no one there :)

She had sent me a text, almost asleep and said she wished I was there, I sent one back saying sometimes wished do come true, I was just pulling up when I sent it and by the time I was getting out of my Jeep she was running towards me in the snow in bare feet!

We hung out on Friday during the day and after school I swung by and picked up the girls, they thought auntie Stephanie was coming but SURPRISE!!! there was dad! Very happy girls to see dad! We booked to Altona and were headed to Mark and Steph's for supper, Jen and Bay were there again not expecting me....I walked in and Jen was not really paying attention until she heard my voice and freaked out, hugged me and then hit me for not telling her I was coming lol....Bay was in the backyard playing and as I was standing there in the dark he really didn't know who I was until I said something and he booked it towards me and almost tackled me and gave me the biggest hug.....ya it was good....great way to start the weekend...

We hung out for the evening and Jen and I spent an hour driving around Altona and just chatting...it was nice...

So Saturday morning was Bay's first game of the tourny...which according to him was the only reason I came back, for him and his hockey lol....I brought Bay a new one piece stick from my shop and had to cut it down so I had finally got to during the second intermission....he started the 3rd and I brought the new stick to the bench....he proceeded to go out on his next shift and bust towards the net and clean up a juicy rebound and bury the puck in the net....pretty jacked that he did it right where we were standing and he even had a little fist pump after...he got an assist and a "fighting" penalty that game so he had his very first Gordie Howe Hat Trick! They won the game and didn't play till 4 that afternoon....They won game 2 as well and Bay was put back on Defence as they had some players missing....after that game we kind of had the evening to do whatever and not really having a house to hang at Sam and I took all 4 kids to Boston Pizza for supper and some bowling after.....we had such a good time, and Brooklyn loves to chuck that ball down the lane lol....the kids crashed pretty hard so we got them all home and to sleep and crashed ourselves...Bay played at 10 am on Sunday, win and they go to the gold medal game, lose and they play for Bronze...they lost the game but Bay got the game star award and it was a trophy....so very proud of my boy everytime he hits the ice

and being my boy, he loves the hardware lol!

So off the the Bronze medal game we went and after a tough game the boys held on to win 2-0 with some stellar defence and a great open ice body check by Bay to stop the guy dead in his tracks..not sure who the crazy man in the stands was when that happened....he was pretty loud lol

2009 Bronze Medal Winners!!

So with my last evening there, we wanted to spend it with the kids so we took them back to Sam's in Winkler and ordered pizza and sat on her bed and watched UP on her laptop, ate pizza and had a little mini stick action going on in the kitchen. Pretty amazing kids to wanna hang with us in a tiny apartment with no tv and have a great time, we were all smiling and laughing and I think we all had a great great time....I promised them all I'd be back in 2 weeks for Christmas and I can't wait to be with all of them again...we may not be a traditional family but we are a family....how do I know? Cause my kids told me that this weekend.....awesome kids, awesome girlfriend.....awesome life....I am truely blessed!

Sometimes little sisters are goalies....or targets!

Family....Jen is missing but taking the photo

GUESS WHAT.....I'M TICKED!

so today was a GREAT day....once again information was "leaked" to Sam's mom about yours truley and man did it fire me up! I haven't been that fired up in a long time....you know you can remove yourself from drama but man can you still stay in it...confusing huh? welcome to my life....personal stuff between and ex wife and ex husband getting to my current girl friends mom...like wtf??? That has nothing to do with anyone!

ok so Mrs. Harder...had you been divorced from your husband, and found a new boyfriend and his mom went to your ex's mom for info on you.....ummmm is that fair.....NO......I'm right here :) you want to know something please ask, I'm an open book....but it's better to read my version than anyone else's.....everyone has a version of everything...there's not even 1 version of the bible....it's been re-written how many times....who could you really ask about it...well Jesus right? so regarding my book...isn't it better to ask me?

I am constantly put throught tests in my life...and I've never been a school/test guy but life tests I fail and pass....and since pastor Tim and God came into my life I've passed more tests than I've failed....I failed at marriage once...doens't mean I'm a bad boyfriend, it means I failed a test and now I'm on my rewrite.....my kids are the one test I've never failed and they prove that everyday....they're great kids, they're not perfect but damn are they awesome....

I've tried to leave drama behind and start a new life for me, Sam, Jennifer and Bailey and even Brooklyn and Cassidy who unfortunately can't be here but I'll be able to better provide for them...I don't need to answer to anyone for my actions....except to Sam, Jennifer, Bailey Brooklyn and Cassidy....they matter, what I do in my life affects them and no one else...they are my measuring stick, they are my world, they are what makes me smile everyday....I have some pretty wonderful friends who love and support me everyday and are much appreciated but even them I don't have to answer to....Just my top 5 there....I make no apologies for what's said about me, I make no apologies for trying to protect Sam and the kids.....If I get fired up it's because they are hurting and that hurts me.....I am where I am today because of Sam, the kids, Dean and Marilyn Harris, Greg, Chris and Karla, Pastor Tim, Candace, Sarah, Kerri, Kelsey, Sandy, Raelene, Mark and Steph and alot more people....I'm thankful to them for everything they've done. Some who've gone above and beyond what any friend should but that's what friends do....I'm proud of who I am, I'm proud of everything I've overcome in my life, I'm proud that I've never tried drugs, I'm proud of Sam and how she handles herself and everything that's been thrown at her, I'm damn proud of my kids and how amazing they've handled the last two years....you want to know anything about me....ask me....ask any of the people above...don't ask people who are now ex family, who want to see me hurt....talk to the people that have stood beside me everyday, not just when it was convenient....

I get to see Sam and the kids this weekend and I absolutely can't wait....

see ya when I see ya....

Gah!

What a weekend...long, and not a good long...had my full time employee take off to Calgary to use "free" Grey Cup tickets....put me in for long hours at the shop and by the time I'm outta here will be 11 days straight...not fun....oh well we'll deal with him when he's back....

Looking very forward to seeing the kids and Sam this weekend...should have a few surprises for all involved ;)

Having some, of course, money issues with the ex but whatever...not much I'll do about it now...

Bay's hockey coach's dad is in the hospital awaiting heart surgery, sounded like a pretty scary scene on the ice but all sounds good, and hopefully should pull through better than ever

It's funny how these times remind you of how precious our gift of life is and to make sure you tell everyone important to you that you love them which I do anyways on a daily basis...I've come a long way in the two years that Pam and I split and thanks to some great friends, Pastor Tim, and accepting God into my life, I've seen things in a better light, controlled my emotions better, my anger, and the way I approach life.

My kids are better off because of it, Sam and I will benefit from it, so I'm glad it happened, I am and will be a happier person from it.

There's been a lot of comparison or more so emphasis on who Turk is....or who people think Turk is...I am who I am...I'm not the same guy you knew in High School, I'm not the same guy that got married in 1994 or had kids in 1995....I"m not the same guy I was 2 years ago or even last week...THANK GOODNESS!!! I am still that guy from all those years but all those life experiences taught me so much, all my poor decisions, all my mistakes, all of it has made me who I am today cause I decided to learn from everything I did...does that make me a bad person now? Hell no, it makes me a better person...Yes I drank when I was younger, yes I was an angry ass too, but I've never had a drinking problem or physically hit anyone....I could right now get angry and upset with my ex regarding the money issue but really that's not the road I want to travel, like I said it will work itself out...I'm not trying to be stuck up or better than anyone, the only person I want to be better than is me, everyday challenging myself to be a better person than I was yesterday....I still make mistakes, I falter I'm not perfect....but I"m human....to hear things about me and not ask me about them is judging me, if ya wanna know ask me....see for yourself....take the time to get to know me....my marriage was 50% my fault...although it wasn't good I stayed true to my beliefs and my vows and never strayed and never wanted anything but for it to work....it didn't...I took that time to fix Turk, who he was, how he handled life...and to help my kids through a crappy time....I did that and thankful I did that....in to my life walked Sam and she's been one of the most amazing people to ever touch my heart, and my kids hearts...we have been through the rumour mill and a lot has been said about us...enough that either one of us could have walked and wouldn't have blamed the other.... but we've stood by one another, been very open and honest, and feel there's something there worth fighting for....Sams quite a bit younger than I am but as a person she's very much my equal if not more....she's a great role model for my kids, and I can't imagine my life without her and I was very close to losing her.....there was no one's approval that I needed for Sam although my kids opinions were very high on my list....I'll never apologize for wanting to be happy and finding happiness in Sam...I"m not trying to relive my youth, or be young again, I've said it for a while, I'm in my pursuit of happiness and with Sam, my kids, the move to Saskatoon, I'm well on my way...I deserve it and damn proud to be where I am, thanks to my friends, Pastor Tim, God, Sam and my kids....

see ya when I see ya!

At work

ya ya I know but it's not busy right now and i'm the boss so I can blog :p

quiet week, been busy working the shop and cleaning the shop and selling stuff so it's becoming more and more mine everyday, and they pretty much leave me to do what I do, I have a budget I need to follow, and that includes everything from wages to stock so I'm well under budget but have a lot of spending to do and i don't even come close to using all my wages budget, not that I wanna give that up but at least I'm not over.

Trying to plan my trip to Mb....it's almost been a month since I've seen the kids and I'm looking at going on Friday already but we'll see....and come back home Monday...

Other than that not much new, I know what the kids are getting for xmas and they'll be pretty pumped...it's not much but it's never been about much....I just wanna be with them that's all I need....

back to sharpening...this little bit has taken about an hour and a half lol

see ya when I see ya

GAH!!

Frick! so today I was downloading a new version of Blackberry Messenger and I don't know what happened but my Blackberry got wiped and I lost all my info....all my numbers all my everything so needless to say I'm less than impressed....that's a load of info I just lost and will never get it all back.....

Talked to Sam on the phone as I wanted to hear her voice, she was having a rough start to the day so I tried to shine a little light into her day....I miss her more everyday and can't wait to see her, the kids, Bay play hockey....will be too short a visit but I'll be back there just a couple weeks after that again for xmas.....work is getting a bit better as stock rolls into my store....

busy week again this week, putting in a few hours...as a couple of the boys are off to hockey tourny's this weekend but then the next weekend I'm in mb....

Rider pride is running deep in this city and they have some pretty passionate fans....I'll never be one but hat's off to a well played western final and fans that never shut up.....I mean give up.....LOL.....

well that's it for now, short and sweet....

see ya when I see ya....

Birthday #

So, today was my Birthday...well I guess technically it's over...but I woke up to Bar B Q spare ribs cookin in the kitchen from mom.....I went to work and went right into meetings, got some things accomplished in the meetings, left work shortly around 6 and came home for some leftovers...I LOVE RIBS....then went to see Ricki's son play hockey....I've never met him so it was good to go see him....good little goalie and a nice kid...was nice to meet him...also saw Ricki's little brother, who's not so little anymore and her dad who I was scared of as a kid.....he smiles more now lol....after the game Ricki and Quincy and I went for a couple of birthday drinks to wind up my day.....the highlight of my day was my baby girls calling me to wish me a happy birthday and Jenn and Bay although Bay just told me about his day and never did say happy birthday lol.....had many many birthday wishes on facebook from so many great friends and from Sam who means more to me than anyone besides my kids.....so for a guy missin his kids and Sam....it was a pretty good 29th birthday ;)....it's my 9th 29th birthday btw...hahhahahaha

see ya when I see ya

The week to come

So last week ended on a better note than I had last posted...the kid that was "supervising" the shop came in for a shift and was a huge help to me in getting orders placed...hopefully this week I should start seeing some stock in my shop. Didn't do much on the weekend...hung out with Raelene and the girls after work on Friday....watched Kenny's hockey game on Sat....got called into work on Sunday as one of my kids didn't show up for his shift....we'll take care of that today....Sunday was back at Rae's for Sunday supper which was fantastic and hopefully a weekly tradition....still no damn payday....ugh....I don't think I could be more broke....thursday I think finally....can't wait! so it's now Monday....I'm heading into work soon...won't be there all day as I worked 5 hours yesterday and it's my last week to "float" in the shop...oh and I'm turning 29 on Wed again...no big deal....just a work day....missin my kids, missin Sam..can't wait to see them all in a couple weeks....anyways...that's it for now....

see ya when I see ya

GAH!

so work is totally frustrating...my store has no stock...and to get stock you have to jump through so many damn hoops and I'm working on an old outdated DOS system until my windows based system comes early in the new year and ya...pulling my hair out.....but on a bright note, I was able to talk to all 4 kids on the phone today...first time I've talked to my girls since I left..."we've just been so buys" says Brooklyn....hearing their voices made everything better...

Below I"m going to attach a poem my daughter wrote for a school project and it's about my girlfriend....my daughter has a huge heart and an amazing talent to write....

see ya when I see ya

Jen's Poem "Fox!"

A family member just quickly added on...
A friend, always there when you're in need...
An older sister to have comfort from...
A mom to yell at you when dad can't...
A babysitter when plans get crazy...
The girl you introduce as"my dad's awesome girlfriend"...
A person you call at two in the morning just to say
"When are you coming home from work...?
I miss you"...
Someone who when you ask for lunch because you're starving
realizes she can only make a grilled cheese...
She someone who you can just get in the car with,
crank the music and go...
A person you just have to have around...
A person you love...
and a person...
named Fox...<3

Update

So obviously I'm home from Toronto...flight was uneventful thank goodness....took Friday off and caught up on some much needed sleep. Went into work Sat and met a couple more of my staff...good kids....my shop however is a freaken mess, stock that I need is next to nill and I have too much old, over priced crap that I'm going to have to clear out somehow...so needless to say I shouldn't be bored at work....after work Sat I went and helped Raelene move some stuff into the new place and put together her new chairs....Sunday headed back to her place @ 10am and moved the little stuff she didn't want to bother the neighbours with....she has a gorgeous new place....so off to work to start my first full week in my store....hopefully I won't pull all my hair out the first week....

see ya when I see ya.....

Thursday....late

Well it's been another long day but I got the green light on a skate sharpening trick from one of the best in the biz, so thanks Tomm for that.....I'm in Toronto tonight, right close to the airport at the Holiday Inn and although I have to leave here by 6:30 I"m in the air by 8:15 and home just about 10:40......I got to tour 2 more Canlan rinks and they were unreal....I got some shirts and a jacket so I'll at least look official when I head to work lol.....Sam's had a tough day and I wish I was there to help her out and I hope she does what's best for her and damnit I hope it's with me but it's her call.....signing off and heading back home.....talk to you soon.....

Ontario 2

Nothing really new to report....lots of work, spent all day yesterday at Scarborough in the shop again and feeling a bit of information overload....today I'll spend a little more time there and then taking off around 8. They're gonna drive me through Toronto by the water to see a bit more of the city on our way to the hotel by the airport and then a little sleep before an early flight....see ya

Ontario

So 5 a.m. came waaaaay too fast today, but after saying good bye to Sam I headed to the Saskatoon airport and all was good, we were airborne by 6:30 and the flight was uneventful.....Toronto looks huge from the air...saw the C.N. Tower by air....oh and no pics cause in the move I have not found my camera yet :(. I was picked up and brought to Oshawa where I'm staying at the Best Western....from there we went for lunch to Denny's and there was some entertainment in the parking lot but that's not pg rated. Came back to the hotel to sort of rest and shower and then I was off to Scaroborough to work in the rink there. It was a good day, I learnt some stuff, worked the till, made some sales, and actually learnt some stuff about skate sharpening.....I've been up since 5 sask time and it's 1:15 ont time now so I'm gonna end this off and get some sleep finally.....will update you tomorrow after another day in Scaroborough. The picture is the rink I am training in in Ont.

First day of work.....

So, the first day of work has come and gone and it was a pretty long day.....lots of paperwork, lots of reading, and two bullshit session....those were my favorite....my boss and I seem to be on the same page with where we wanna see the hockey shop go so that excites me and once I'm comfortable there it's mine to do with as I please to improve biz.....I'm packed and ready to work, work, work in Toronto....not looking forward to get up at 5 a.m. I also have to say goodbye to Sam as she leaves for Manitoba around noon tomorrow and I'm really not looking forward to not having her with me. She makes it feel so good, everything seems right here and now she and my kids will be far away....that's not good, but hopefully I'll have all the pieces to my puzzle back before I know it......I'm gonna go spend as much time as I can with her and I'll try to update you as Toronto goes but I can't find my camera so there may be no pics :(

later

Hello

So today wasn't too exciting.....was lazy in the morning, then we booked it downtown and tried to show Sam some shops that are cute and unique like she is, weather was pretty sucky today so that was shortned but we managed to go see Kennedy's hockey game. It was played at the rink where I'll be working so it was easy to get to and they won 3-1 and she's a pretty good little hockey player. Sam took some pics of the rink for me so I'll try to add them on here....tomorrow I'm going to take her to Martensville and Warman....the latter where I'm looking at settling down.....so now I'm gonna finish watching ball and then a movie....night all!

Hello

So my six people that follow me....here's the next update ha ha ha....had a great day today, showed Sam around my old stompin grounds and showed her my old "ghost town" as my daughter calls it....tonight we went and saw "This is it" and it was an outstanding movie, I quite enjoyed it....also took care of a lil bit of business today with sending out a long overdue email to someone...hopefully it helps....tomorrow I'm going to take Sam around to see some of the more unique shops around Saskatoon.

I also found out I'm flying into Toronto on Tuesday and flying home on Friday morning. I'm looking very forward to that whole experience......k just a short blurb for now.....later

I'm back!!!!

sorry I haven't been on lately but man it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I had a great last couple days and got to say good bye the right way to some great friends....the hardest of course were the kids....we've never been apart much and this will test us all but we're tough and we'll make it. I'm in Saskatoon, arrived this afternoon. I'm gonna spend the weekend showing my gf around and getting ready for work. I start on Monday and fly to Toronto for training on Tuesday. I'm wicked pumped about that as I've never been and hoping to find some time to hit up the Hockey Hall of Fame. I'm excited to be here but at the same time missing my kids and can't wait to see them again and bring them home here to Saskatoon. Thanks for all the support to my outstanding friends and family...we'll update more soon with pictures!

13 Days

So I'm down to 13 days till I leave Altona and things are getting packed up and very real. This not having a job thing sucks as I'm quickly running out of money but that will all soon change.....loving the new laptop....more on that at a later time.....not looking forward to leaving the kids or Sam behind but I'm putting on my big boy pants and away we go.....more later....

Oct 7th

Haha love rain days, great reason for a day off and get stuff done and I got so much done today!

I found a place to store my stuff, thanks Uncle Ron, criminal record check done and no handcuffs!! Offer sheet printed out, read and signed!

And to top it off a great visit with Pastor Tim! With working out of town it had been waaaay to long since we've had the chance to chat! At the end he said a nice prayer about everything that's going on and his friendship and guidance has been so appreciated and am looking forward to continuing it via email.

One more item left today and that's chatting with the kids grandparents in hopes they can stay there while I get set up in s'toon....

Tis all for now, time to make taco's for supper..

For a Fox

By chance you walked into my life
What started as a simple hello
Turned into a lifetime of memories

I was closed, guarded, and scared to move
You never ran away, you never got angry
When I needed space, space was given
When I needed to be held, you were right by my side

I hid you from my kids, I hid you from the world
I was trying to protect you when I should have been showing you off.

They say what we have is unhealthy
But my kids proved them wrong
When they see you they open their arms
And their hearts are full of you.

You've taught me that it doesn't matter what I have or how much I have.
All that matters is who I am
And you've made me a better man.

If I had the choice, knowing the outcome, to change the last five months
I wouldn't change a thing
Thank you for everyday we've been together
There will never be anyone like you, my Fox!

Sunday

Starting to pack up and had back to Mb....had a great, fantastic, wonderful night last night and even ran into an old school friend I haven't seen since grade 8, by chance. They raised over $2500 for mom and played some great music so a good night.

So I'll get ready over here and head out to meet Raelene for lunch and then off I go on the dusty trail.....let the craziness begin!

Saturday

So it's Saturday and I'm no further ahead in any, oh I don't know, decisions that I have to make.....NOT that I'm not thinking about them but still no further. Pam does know and I am waiting to hear back on what her thoughts are and yes those thoughts do matter as this move affects her as well because of the kids. We need to keep our communication lines open for the best interests of our kids.

So tonight we're off for mom's benefit blues jam night and it won't be an early night. And I'm driving back tomorrow sometime as it's back to what's normal for now.

I can text that much so read it here!

OK so I had my interview today at the sports store, well glorified skate shop that Chris and I had in Altona....Man do they want me...everything I asked for they said yes to, there is a huge opportunity for me to grow within this company, way better money than I'm making now, benefits for my kids, just an overall good fit. Now comes the hard part, making the final decision. Making the move, it involves me and 4 kids and an ex wife....but bottom line is I"m a dad and I need to provide for my kids the best way that I can while giving us all some kind of future.....what's my decision.... ha ha ha no clue....stay tuned....it's gonna get interesting.

Times are changing??

So I'm the night before I leave and still not nervous but looking forward to gtting there. Currently I work for a lawn care company. They are friends of mine and have been more than wonderful to me. I received my paycheque yesterday and unfortunately thanks to rain days I was $100 short of a normal pay day...well I came home a little bummed and decided to check the mail at least once this week and in there was an envelope with an Altona return address...curiosity made me open it before I left for home and wouldn't you know it there was a cheque for $100. I bought a ticket earlier for $20 to support our local Jr.baseball team and I guess they picked my name! Great timing I must say!!

Probably won't post tomorrow as its a travel day for me, but you'll hear from me soon...

week 1

So I'm heading to saskatoon this weekend to hear my offer from the general manager @ Jemini. I'm excited, not nervous cause pretty sure they want me. What I do feel is the overwhelming starting cause the next couple months is gonna be nutz! I've spent soo much time thinking about what to do and the common thing has been that its something I have to try. The final two were carla harris and chris, the best friend a guy could have and chris said, "buddy, if you don't at least try you'll regret it" plus he said he's been prayin for me. His opinion I respect so much as he's always been a stand up guy/friend/brother! So not much else to say until either friday if I find time or saturday. Until then, thanks for reading! Love y'all!

so here we start

So I'm about to embark on the biggest change in my life since I left home @ 17 and I thought I'd start this up so people that matter or care, if they do can follow me and my craziness. I hope you enjoy and follow! :)