ugh!!

Well I've come to realize that I really only write this for me. I'm pretty sure there's only one person that reads this lives in my house and pretty much knows everything but sometimes it's just good to get it down on print.

I'm in a funny place right now...I'm happy, happier than I've been in a very long time. I'm deeply in love with Sam, she's such an amazing person, woke up one morning and suddenly had kids and she's done better than I thought. Her life has changed so much in the last year and a bit since I've been in it and I hope she's as happy as she makes me.
I'm still at the rink, and I'm not happy there, I am good at what I do, but I want to manage, although I am the "manager" here, it's different cause really I'm a clerk, and that doesn't leave me much time to manage....I'm working away trying to get my foot in the door with Sport Chek but also something new came across my plate the other day, there's a new store opening here next year sometime and it's called Pro Hockey Life and it's soooooooo me.....a sports rep contact I made way back in the day at Ventura Sports and I reconnected last week as he's my rep for Reebok hockey and he's the one who told me about it and said he would name drop me...holy shit....that would be amazing to manage that place. I think I'd knock it out of the park...
As for the funny place I'm in....well I want to be somebody...I don't want to be a celebrity, I don't need that headache...but I want to change the world....I sit on the couch at night and that keeps rolling through my head....I want to change the world....now don't get me wrong I don't want to cure cancer...well no I do actually but I'm not that smart....I don't want to land on the moon, I guess what I'm really trying to say is I want to be a change in this world...I'd LOVE to work for Livestrong, I'd love to just travel and volunteer where needed. I want my family to live comfortably and to be able to provide for them with ease. I'd do anything for any one of them. I don't need awards, I don't need recognition I just want to give of myself to those who need a hand.

Another one of my dreams has always been to be a fire fighter....my family doesn't share my dream and I understand why, it takes me away from them and it could take me away from them forever. I have the utmost repect for fire fighters...they give of themselves everytime the alarm goes off...running into burning buildings to save lives, homes, even pets. They are some of the bravest people I know and am humbled by their unselfishness. As much as I've always wanted to do this, being there for my family outweighs everything.

Don't get me wrong....I'm a happy guy, there's just a little more that I want to do in life. Sam often struggles with not being who she wants to be and although I think she's wonderful at who she is, I know she wants to be that girls sitting in her studio, with paint from head to toe and a smile on her face. I hope she realizes that she needs to hold on to that dream, just as I hold on to my dreams of becoming the person I want to be. The one that helps, and gives back, or gives of themselves....I want to be that person and I believe it will come in time for me and for her. Until then I'm the happiest guy being a dad, to 4 of the greatest kids in the world and to Slapshot, the greatest puppy in the world, and being a boyfriend to Sam who makes me feel like I can do anything AND being the influence that has me reading my second book in a row...shut up, it doesn't matter if it's a sports book I still have to read it lol.....

See ya when I see ya!